Pascale – I have my plan A, now what’s my plan B?

Post number 4 from kickaction.ca’s HERstory blogging carnival! I met Pascale a few years ago, when we were both training for a CIDA internship. My internship in Mali was a bit hit and miss, but I think that her time in Bolivia was great!

1. If someone wrote a biography about you, what would the title be?

I have my plan A, now what’s my plan B?

2. Where are you from? How has where you’re from shaped your life?
Saint-Alfred, en Beauce, Québec
3. Where do you live? How has where you live shaped your life?
Right now, I live in Québec city, but it’s temporary. I’m here for an internship. I’ve lived half my life in the countryside, which has made me quiet, introverted and close to nature. The other half of my life, I have spend moving every 8 moths or so. During my studies, I spent all my summers away from Quénec. My trips have made me more confident  and less ‘by the book’ than I would have been otherwise. South America, especially, taught me that stress does not make you happy. Also, the friendships that I developed with people that I have met throughout my travels have taught me to accept myself for who I am, and to be comfortable with myself.
4. What is your greatest achievement?
I’m proud of being financially independent from my parents, and to have been since university. It has given me a lot more freedom.
5. What is your greatest regret? Or what is your greatest fear?
I try not to have any regrets. When I make a decision, it is normally very thought out and I make sure to look at the good parts of it, without thinking about what I’m missing out on. However, I would have love to have been more of an extrovert. In high school, I was more reserved, and watched my friends do things without me. But that’s int the past, and I don’t want to look back with regret.
I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of being loney, of being useless, of putting myself out there, of becoming dependant on someone, of being rejected, etc. There is always a little something holding me back.

6. What would you tell a young girl who is struggling with something like her identity, bullying, not fitting in, etc.?
I would tell her to be strong. I know that it’s not easy, but she has to hold on. There are beautiful things in her future. She should find someone she trusts and talk to them. This person will be there for them and might be able to make things appear less scary. Don’t put pressure on youtself to be perfect – those who don’t accept her as she is do not deserve her time. She must be patient and gentle with herself. It takes time to find who you are, and she might need some time to explore that.

She does not deserve this bullying, and it is not her fault. I want her to remember that people who are different are usually the most interesting, those who have the best stories to tell and who are not scared to go off the beaten path. At the end of the day, these people have a strength that other don’t. She has more to offer than she’ll ever know. Her situation is not permanent, and she is not alone in this struggle.

7. What’s next?

I want to finish my masters, take a bike trip in the meantime, and find a job as I’m finishing school. Ideally, I would love to find a one or two year contract in another country. A husband and children are definitely something I want, but I’m not there yet. After all – what are the odds of meeting someone who will want to travel with me? Once my need to move around is under control, everything should fall it to place, or so my mum says! Hah!

I am enjoying the fact that I don’t have any real responsibilities or dependents, and I am using this time to explore all the opportunities that I have. Everything will happen in due time.

Mona – Nothing Special but I’ve Enjoyed the Ride

The third post in my kickaction.ca blogging carnival series is Mona (my 8th grade English teacher!) Read on for some great insight.

1. If someone wrote a biography about you, what would the title be?

Nothing Special but I’ve Enjoyed the Ride

2. Where are you from? How has where you’re from shaped your life?

Not really “from” anywhere. Have lived in five Canadian provinces, haven’t ever visited the other five. Born in QC, left when I was one year old and came back when I was 25 because in 1967, when I was 15 and went to Expo in Montreal, I decided I wanted to learn to speak French as Canada had just recently become an official bilingual country. And, Quebecois guys were awfully cute to this 15-year old. And, eventually I married one and am still married to him!

3. Where do you live? How has where you live shaped your life?

Well, I guess I kind of answered that in #2. Living in Gatineau, QC across the river from Ottawa, Ontario so basically call two cities home which is perfect for a bilingual couple such as my husband and myself. Choice of Gatineau, then Hull, certainly did shape my entire adult life as my later-to-be husband whom I met at Université de Moncton. He was one of my profs, and was offered a position at Université du Québec en Outaouais. We bought a house next to College Saint-Alexandre, in Gatineau. The contractor who built the house let us know that CSA was looking for an English teacher and I was hired and stayed for 34 years.

4. What is your greatest achievement?

Greatest = Fame, Fortune, Something Unique or Spectacular? Haven’t done that yet and probably never will but we tend to associate “great” achievements with the above in today’s society and this is incorrect, I believe. Great is living your life to the best of your abilities and, in the process, not ever willfully doing something to hurt another person. Humans aren’t perfect and spending a life trying to achieve perfection is futile. Just do the best you can and be honest with others and yourself.

5. What is your greatest regret?

That I started smoking cigarettes when I was 16 and have struggled with quitting, so far unsuccessful after many attempts, for most of my life. Also, that when I was younger and had an opportunity to travel to France and study in Avignon, I chickened out! Don’t start smoking and don’t be afraid of taking risks which enrich your life experience.

6. What would you tell a young girl who is struggling with something like her identity, bullying, not fitting in, etc.?

My mother said it to me, and I will say it to you now that I am 60. You probably won’t believe me but trust me, it is true. Do not waste your precious, vital, young energy worrying about how you look!!!!! The most beautiful feature on any face is a sincere smile. And if you think you are different from your peers and feel you have to change to fit in with ‘the crowd’, don’t. Stay true to who you are because you are special. Adjusting your unique look, personality, interests to fit in with how others think you should be, just makes you an anonymous sheep in the flock. Stay true to yourself. The world needs those individuals who know who they are and appreciate their unique individuality.

7. What’s next?

What’s next for me is my new part-time job working in a shop. After 34 years as a teacher in a wonderful school with wonderful students, I had one totally lazy year as a retired teacher doing …… nothing. After awhile, it sucked. Enjoying life means work. And then the time you aren’t working becomes so special because you deserve that break.

Cat – Head in the clouds, feet on the ground: the story of an absent minded cynical girl

This is the second post in the series of HERstory, from the Blogging Carnival on kickaction.ca

Cat is a videogame blogger for the Virgin radio network. You can read about the rad stuff she gets to do here. We’ve also been friends since we were about 12, which is pretty cool.

1. If someone wrote a biography about you, what would the title be?

Head in the clouds, feet on the ground: the story of an absent minded cynical girl

2. Where are you from? How has where you’re from shaped your life?

Gatineau/Ottawa. I grew up with both languages and have adopted habits of both cultures. I do not subscribe to the language debate since there is no debate when both are part of your life. I appreciate nature, culture and heritage.

3. Where do you live? How has where you live shaped your life?

Montreal. Living in a big city where everything is available and within reach, I have simplified my way of life. I live in a small apartment, I sold my car, I downsized my possessions and stopped hoarding/stocking up on groceries and other things since I can get anything I need easily.

4. What is your greatest achievement?

Graduating university. I really didn’t think I was gonna make it through.

5. What is your greatest fear?

Spiders and being poor.

6. What would you tell a young girl who is struggling with something like her identity, bullying, not fitting in, etc.?

To stop believing other people’s bullshit and worry about what she wants to be and where she wants to go. If doing so means certain people will stop caring about you, good! You’ll find real friends along the way, trust me.

7. What’s next?

I don’t know. I know I’ll keep drawing, I’ll keep designing, I’ll keep reading, I’ll keep writing and blogging but I don’t know where it will take me. That’s the fun part.

 

Paulette: A work in progress

Here is the first post in the series of HERstory, from the Blogging Carnival on kickaction.ca

You can read more of Paulette’s story on her blog. Paulette was my 9th grade English teacher, and I’m super happy that we’ve since developed a great friendship.

1. If someone wrote a biography about you, what would the title be?

A WORK IN PROGRESS

2. Where are you from? How has where you’re from shaped your life?

I was born in Newfoundland, Canada. At the age of 19, I left all I knew and moved to Québec to learn French and start MY life. I didn’t know it at the time, but I left home to get away from the unhappiness I was feeling in my family unit. I needed a BIG change, and I unconsciously found a way to get it. So I became independent at an early age.

Being from Newfoundland has shaped my life in many ways. It’s an island, so ‘different’ from the rest of Canada in that respect. We are a proud people, and very attached to our ‘unique’ traditions. I have carried those aspects with me to this day. I have always felt a little ‘different’ (maybe because I have lived in a French-speaking province with its own ‘special’ language and culture for over half of my life) but I am extremely proud of where I’m from. This has helped me stay strong during tough times.

3. Where do you live? How has where you live shaped your life?

I now live in Montréal, Québec; a fabulous, multi-cultural city where I can live in both English and French. Living in a place so different from where I grew up has made me more open, has introduced me to many opportunities and things I would never have known otherwise. As an Anglophone not born in Québec, I have challenges that most people around me don’t. I see things differently than most, as my background is not the same. Sometimes that makes things easier, sometimes more difficult. Living here makes me see the links between how Newfoundlanders are (proud, unique) as the ‘québecois’ are similar in that way. This, in turn, makes me understand others on a different level than most. But the bottom line is this: no matter where we were born, where we grew up or what language(s) we speak, we are all human beings and are therefore the same. Without disrespecting our specific cultures or backgrounds, I firmly believe ‘people are people’ and more alike than we sometimes (or would like to) think.

4. What is your greatest achievement?

Now that’s a good question….huummm. My greatest achievement to date is remaining positive and curious about life despite the hardships I have encountered. Sure, everyone has his or her hardships, but mine have affected me on a deep emotional level. I am not bitter or blasé, I am happy to be alive. I am grateful for every day I get. This is an achievement because I choose to ‘live’, not just exist as a living thing. I try to make each day count.

5. What is your greatest regret? Or what is your greatest fear?

My greatest regret is forgetting to put myself first. I am a natural ‘people pleaser’, who wants to do the right thing and when others are involved, I give more than my all to make things work. In doing this, I lost myself and this wasn’t good for anybody. I had to hit a hard wall to get my wakeup call. I lost people I loved, yet I ended up hurting myself the most.

My biggest fear is not being loved. Maybe a cliché, but this feeling continually hovers over me. Sure my friends ‘love’ me, but due to my past relationship failures and my age, I do fear never finding my ‘soulmate/life partner’. It seems unfathomable to me to spend most of one’s life alone, not sharing it with someone special. I do remain hopeful but am fearful it will never happen.

6. What would you tell a young girl who is struggling with something like her identity, bullying, not fitting in, etc.?

I would tell a girl struggling with her identity or feeling like she doesn’t fit in a simple phrase: Believe in yourself. That is the starting point. Each person is ‘different’ and should remember that each one of us is special and valuable. This has been a life-long struggle for me so I get it. Believing in yourself, believing you are worth it is the best advice I can give. It’s not always easy, but if you can get up in the morning, say these words and believe them, all will be okay. Don’t let others put you down or make you feel worthless, because they are wrong. We all have a special uniqueness about us that needs to be respected.

7. What’s next?

Staying on my path to happiness, remaining grateful for all I have, and remembering to focus on the positives. Live my best life and don’t sweat the small stuff. Make each day count and try to be the best person I can be every day. And if some days I fail, to accept it, move on and keep trying. A work in progress…